My time with RIE® as a Practicum Student

I am approaching a year as a RIE® Practicum Student under my mentor, Kira Solomatova. Most Saturday’s, you can find me in Pasadena at the Pasadena RIE® studio. It is a magical place, one which I have enjoyed getting to know well.

While my learning journey is far from over, I find myself in a state of reflection, filled with wonder, hope, admiration and - most of all - respect. When I was accepted to the Practicum program, I was nervous about taking on something extra to already working full time and being a mother of two young children. While the often two-hour, one-way drive has definitely worn me down, there is so much that keeps me coming back. The conversations with my mentor, the relationships with parents, everything I learn from the environment and the observations of the children that fill it are just some of the deeply meaningful things I have gained.

This small studio has filled my head and my heart with thoughtful conversations and observations - I inevitably come home from my visits and overwhelm my husband with all the amazing moments and knowledge I am still processing.

I’ve discovered quite a paradox: as I become more confident in practicing and sharing the Educaring Approach, I also see more clearly how much I’m still learning. In fact, this really was the driving force behind this blog – so I could write out and find my own way of applying these ideas and theories. My reflections just confirm my time learning is not complete (is it really ever?). Even though I try to take a piece of knowledge I leave with every week – to apply in my life, with my own children, in my work, and with the children I serve - I still see an infinite expanse of understanding to explore.

My time as a Practicum student has changed and influenced so many of my relationships. I’ve brought new practices into the infant room where I work; I’ve changed policies and curriculum to better support the children and their families. I continue to evaluate the role of being a mother - how I give respect and how I look for respect in others. I consider how to I relate to the parents I serve, how to build trust, and communicate effectively.

I strive to create an environment that supports learning with my co-teachers and encourages grace for one another. I’ve made big changes and small ones - sometimes simply changing how I say something, or doing the hard work of rewriting a reaction into a thoughtful response in my mind. I’m learning to allow myself time and patience that change doesn’t happen overnight.

One of my most favorite lessons from Kira was the power of the word “and.”

When setting a boundary with a child, we might say something like

“You want to go outside, but I need to change your diaper.”

Kira so lovingly explained that two things can be true at once - we should be careful not to diminish a child’s wants or ideas. As the adult or parent, we can simply acknowledge both truths:

“You want to go outside, and I need to change your diaper.”

This small change might seem insignificant but it can shift the entire tone of the interaction. The boundary is still held but so is the child’s perspective and feeling.  

I have been learning about RIE and the Educaring Approach since 2012 (in college – yikes). It’s been the practicum experience - practicing and speaking about it with parents and other educators – that has planted these principles deeply into my work and life.

Yes, we’ve probably heard about telling a child what we are going to do before we do it. But have we really practiced slowing down, being patient and being truly present? Maybe we’ve done with it a child - but have we practiced it with other adults? Or even with ourselves?

Here are a few concepts that that have impacted and shaped me during my practicum:

·      There is so much goodness in slowing down.

For myself and for others. Slow to react, slow to speak, or jump in. Sometimes it’s about simply moving my body closer to a situation and observing. To inquire - not assume – even when I’m the adult or professional in the room. I’m learning to come from a place of curiosity instead of judgement. To do things with children, not to them.

·      Building community.

In my experience, it can be hard to find mom friends. But when we can come together with a shared foundation – like, I treat my child as a whole person deserving respect or I value spending time outdoors with my children – that’s when friendships become more real and authentic.

These classes aren’t just an opportunity for children to socialize. They are also a space for parents to connect with a professional and receive meaningful feedback. When that happens, parents feel connected, able to participate freely and - most importantly - able to be vulnerable. Even just to say, “I’ve experienced something similar” and to feel less alone in parenthood.

·      Learning to give the benefit of the doubt.

To myself. To the child. To others. Coming from a place of wonder and ease. We don’t need to assume - we can trust in what is. My time learning from Kira has showed me that we approach situations and people with this belief in the good, it’s often reciprocated. And if not, maybe your approach becomes the example that invites change in others.

Looking ahead

My hope is to build something like this in my own community - to offer RIE® -inspired parent/infant guidance classes. I want to create spaces where families can learn, observe, and practice this philosophy. Most of all, I want to offer an environment that nurtures family relationships and provides a calming, engaging place to just be present with our children.

I don’t expect to ever reach a place of finality. I might eventually earn a certificate - maybe even continue my education - but the work of children is never really done. It is ever evolving as is the work we do within ourselves.

How we respect, connect, find joy, and learn to be our authentic selves will change throughout our lives.

And I think that might be the greatest wisdom I have gathered on this journey:

Learning isn’t something to rush.

Knowledge isn’t something to check off my list (even though I really enjoying making lists).

Learning has become a part of how I function – it is part of my internal framework – something I am constantly building through my life, work, my parenting, and the children I serve.